Tuesday, January 1, 2013

A New Years State Of Mind

2012 over already? 2013 here so soon? These are the two questions that have been bouncing around in my mind for a couple of days now. Where did the time go? The older I get the faster time travels. I feel like I am sort of having a mid life crisis kind of feeling happening. Where to go from here? What road should I travel? Who should I include within this journey?
This brings me to my New Years list of Resolutions. Now I can see some of you thinking "Oh, why wait until January 1st to start these resolutions?" or "How many of these will be accomplished?" or "How many times has this been on the list?" Well for me, I do not like to start something and not finish it. I try to not leave anything undone. I like to set goals for myself and accomplish them. This will actually be the first year that I have sat down and made a list of goals/resolutions. I feel like I am getting to the age where I am sitting on a fence and I have to decide which side to choose. Which path will benefit me the most. Who in my life will help me reach my full potential and not bring me down.
There is something refreshing about a new year. It is a chance to create a better you and a better atmosphere that surrounds you. I am using January 1st as a "new start". A new path, new friendships, a new attitude, a new way of thinking and to find more self respect/esteem for myself.
Anyways, I have compiled this list in no particular order to share with you my goals/resolutions for the new year. It may seem like an extensive, long, dreadful list but I set pretty high standards for myself and I intend on achieving at least 90% of them: (If you stick it out until the end, I will be ever so grateful)
1. Try to not write such long paragraphs/sentences. (I tend to wonder if anyone just skims over the paragraphs or sees all of the writing and thinks, my god girl stop talking)
2. Read my new book, Blog Inc to learn more about the process of blogging and other tips that can transform my blog into worthy reading material. Then write a post reviewing the book since my fellow followers are interested in hearing my review.
3. Reach 100 followers. Bloggy friends have really helped me learn important things about myself and have pushed me to reach my full potential as a woman.
4. Transform my blog into a much cuter, snazzy but still simple web page. I feel like I am missing a lot of key things when it comes to my blog. I am hoping to learn more.
5. Win a giveaway! (And also find out why some of the giveaways require so many entries?)  It would be so exciting to win something, understand it a little more and be able to write about it.
1. Even though it is more than likely impossible, convince my sister to spend more time with me. Even if it's just a phone call, FB message, email or a once a month visit, I feel like I need her in my life. We have never had a close relationship and I don't expect "close" to happen now. But something is better than nothing.
2. Spend less time indulging in social media and spend more quality time with my family. This means a less glowing face from the cell phone screen and more time laughing and socializing with my family.
3. Schedule my visits at my parents ahead of time instead of last minute. The more planning that goes into our hangout sesh time the less stressed on time, sleep and organization there will be. 
4. Invite my parents over for dinner at least once a month. More than likely on a Sunday afternoon. More of a lupper (between lunch and supper) to give more time for visiting and clean up time.
5. Call my mother at least two times a week on the way home from work (This allows for adult conversation without my three year old screaming in the background and is outside the normal 5 minute quick I need your mom advice calls) To share what we did that day, plan our hang out sesh and just have mother/daughter convo time.

1. Plan a once a month Starbucks coffee date. (All of my friends love Starbucks and talking so this should be easy right?)
2. Sometime throughout the year I want to book a hotel room and have a sleepover. All the girls in one room, wine, snacks, pizza, movies, talking, hair styling, mani/pedis...whatever it is...with the girls. Just getting to know each other and forming a circle of friendship. Maybe a once a year tradition?
3. Get to know my "closest" friends a bit more. Ask more questions. Conversate more. Exchange more "only you would know this" topics. Find out what they really think of me and expect out of our friendship.
4. Send a friendship care package to each of my closest friends. Click here for an example.
5. Plan a dinner date one Friday night out of a month with one friend. Catch up on their lives and spend the night with a few cocktails and amazing tasting food.


Self Fulfillment:
1. Acceptance: I require acceptance from others to feel good about myself instead of finding acceptance within myself. That needs to change pronto.
2. Reflection. I need to become happier with what I see staring back at me. I look into the mirror daily and I see someone totally different than what everyone else sees. Too skinny but weight fluctuates so it is hard to find a happy medium. Hairstyle too plain. Makeup could be better. Flat butt. Boobs could be bigger. Wrinkles already. Tired eyes. Etc. The list goes on and on. I am sure everyone has "the list". Right?
I get a lot of compliments on my clothes, hair, makeup and nails but I often feel like the world tries to be nice instead of honest. I will ask someone "How does this look?" and I am usually left wondering if they are telling the truth. I would rather know the truth and it hurt a little then know I am being lied to and it hurt worst later on.  
3. Conversation starter, this would not describe me. Half the time I sit thinking to myself, "what do I say? No that sounds ridiculous. Ok should I ask this. No, gessh they might think you are being a stalker. Well okay what if I bring up this, no that doesn't even relate to what you are talking about, they will think you haven't been paying attention." I fight internally with myself on what to ask, what to say and what is right or wrong. I am thinking more about how that person will judge me instead of being myself. I come across as the non caring, too quiet girl who when I do talk, only talks about myself because asking others about their day/life is very hard for me. I need to work on this. I have lost friendships due to my internal weaknesses.
4. If I think people are talking about me behind my back I usually say nothing. I have found out a lot of things that have been said and to avoid confrontation I say nothing. This is going to change. One of the number one things. I do not deserve to be treated in a way that I would not treat others. It just isn't fair. I am taking a stand to not put up with people who belittle others over jealousy or hatred.
5. Instinct. I am going to start listening to that little voice in my head that tells me this doesn't seem right or this person doesn't deserve your time and attention. The little voice in my head is more than often right. He or she is smart and usually on point, I need to follow his/her guide.


Well that ends my list of "to-do's" for the year. It seems a little out of reach but I am willing to do all I can to reach each and every one of these. If I sit here on December 31st of next year and can say that every one of these goals were met I will truly be a happier person all the way around.
What are your resolutions/goals? Are any of these hitting close to home? Please share your thoughts and comments! I cannot wait to hear your list!
Have a wonderful New Years! Be safe and keep smiling!
Love you all!



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