Tuesday, January 8, 2013

The Next Phase

There comes a point in your life as a mother that you realize your child is growing up, fast, too fast. The moment when you have to untie the rope and let them out into the real world. Wow, is that scary or what? If you are a mother you can relate, if not, your time will come but you can only imagine how this must feel.
Madison has been in daycare since she was around 2 years old. She will be four in April. (This totally seems unreal, tear drop) Her daycare provider is what I like to describe as "Mary Poppins". She is a teacher, a provider, a mentor and an all around great person. Someone I can trust to leave my child with daily. This speaks volumes because I am pretty particular when it comes to Madison's care. We have grown attached to the daycare and the family behind the scenes. Today I was told that I have until August before the daycare closes.  (Yes, I was fighting back tears and an anxiety attack). Madison's last day will be an emotional one for all of us. It's going to be a really rough day. Not only will we be losing a daycare provider but this is also the next phase of our family's/child's life. This means finding Madison an all day preschool/school that she can attend full time. New kids, new teachers, new school, new schedule. Everything new. I think this is hard for me to accept. I hate change in regards to life choices like these.
So now I am out searching and googling like a mad mother, trying to find open enrollment dates, the best care, the best school, the best of the best. That twitchy palm that Fifty Shades of Grey talked about, well I will have that until I find exactly what I am looking for.
It is hard to accept that my little baby is no longer a baby but a big girl who is going to conquer big things. As a mother you wear your heart outside of your body. You would do anything for your children. So something this huge really affects the entire family.
It causes me deep depression to think about her growing up, seeing her leave the home someday and her living her own life without her needing me. I know this won't happen for years to come and most people would think "Why is she upset about this now?" but I am. I can't help to imagine what life without my little girl running around will be like. The feeling is indescribable. (You have to realize if you haven't figured it out already, I am a bag of emotions, almost every day).
So I guess I have one question to all of the mothers out there, "How do you cope with situations like these and how do you find peace with it?" If you are reading this and don't have kids, ask around. The more advice the better. I really am searching for an answer in hopes I will find strength and understanding in all of this.
My baby is growing each and every day and there isn't a thing I can do about it.
In the womb

Second Day On Earth
First Birthday
 Second Birthday
Third Birthday
Slow down and enjoy the moments

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