Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Is Constructive Criticism, Constructive?

Growing up I never took criticism well. I would hear teachers, my mom, my friends and whoever else it was saying "It's constructive, to better you and your life, why are you so upset?"
I saw it as someone pointing out all the wrong things I had done or was doing.
I have never looked at criticism as a good thing.
To this day, I receive criticism every day.
How I am raising my child, how my marriage works, how I perform at my job, how I look and many many more.


Everyone strives to do their very best and when someone is constantly pointing out the negative it begins to take its toll whether it is intended that way or not.
I have been dealing with a lot of criticism lately and it has pushed me to the edge. I am very sensitive to what others think about about me or the actions I am taking. What they say to me or about me effects my thinking and feelings more than anyone will ever know.
Inside, I know that I am a hard worker, that I do my best to look great, feel great and perform at a higher standard than most but when someone else isn't feeling that same way it is disappointing.
Instead of looking at criticism as a growing experience I take it all to heart.

These are the things I hear and how my heart and mind reacts.

You made a mistake, how many times do I have to tell you, how long have you been doing this=dumb, stupid, ignorant and incompetent.

Why does she only act that way with you (daughter)=bad parenting, too busy, need to change my ways, she's a brat and get off that cell phone.

You look tired, is there something wrong=you look horrible, what did you do all night, you need more sleep, gross ugh blah....etc

Are you even looking at what you are doing=hello wake up, earth to blondie, you aren't using your head.

So you get the drift, one comment can be taken a million different ways. Although nothing is meant by it or it may be a general statement critiquing what you are doing it affects moods and thoughts.

So as a new approach to living less stressed, hurt and overwhelmed I am handling the criticism in this way:

With positivity
Accepting that I am not perfect
Not taking it personally
I won't give up
By listening to the criticism and taking it as learning experience to become better and improve
Remembering what was said and finding the positivity in the statement

As I grow and age I have learned that expectations will always be there and that standards will be set high. I will not be able to please everyone and that is ok.
At the end of the day, if I did my best then that is all that matters. Giving up is the easy way out and I am not a quitter.
I am taking the path less traveled that has scared me since my childhood and breaking out of my shell. I will not sit back and let the criticism break my spirit. I am who I am and as long as I am happy with my hard work, dedication and love for my life that's all I need.


  1. Good luck with this! I totally take criticism personally even though I try to be one of the people who can take it. It is isn't easy!

  2. I am horrible at taking criticism, so I totally get it. I hope your new outlook works!


I appreciate and love everyone of your comments. They mean so much to me! Take the time to leave a comment and follow my blog. I will follow you back!