To start things off, I have a sister who is eight years younger than me. I remember my mom once talking about things that you thought you'd never have to say to your child.
With my sister, it was the phrase, "We don't talk about body parts at the table" (don't ask).
I'm currently finishing up my first year of teaching seventh and eighth grade reading, and I've realized that teaching 12-14 year-olds is a lot like that. Going into it, I felt like they were relatively mature - I mean, they're not five years old! However, you end up saying a lot of things you really thought you'd never have to say - especially to eighth grade boys, like...
"Take your PANTS off your ARMS!" [Seriously, eighth grade boys? Thankfully, at least, they were sweatpants and they were still wearing gym shorts, but still... REALLY?]
"DO NOT lick him or I will give you detention!" [To be fair, it was hilarious since he was trying to lick someone's elbow to see if they'd notice - rumor has it that you wouldn't...]
"faces that ms. s makes" poem
"Stop calling me 'bro'." [One student still does, but he's quirky and weird, so sometimes I let it slide.]
"You are NOT allowed to call her a witch again." [Okay, this was to a seventh grade boy who shouted that the girl sitting next to him was a witch because she had "purple eyes" - which turned out to be purple eyeLINER.]
the ninja grading maneuver.
"You need to stop hugging him. He doesn't look like he's enjoying it." [Same kid.]
"Where did your shoes go?" [Seriously, where were they? No idea.]
"Come OUT of the CLOSET!" [I have an empty supply closet. Do you know how many eighth grade boys can fit in there when I turn my head? Seven. The answer is seven.]
note on said closet whiteboard from weirdos.
Liked the stuff I thought I'd never have to say? Come check out my blog. I do regular installments of "Stuff Kids Say" - where you can live vicariously through my middle school teaching adventures instead of having to teach those yahoos yourself. :)