As her mother, I of course know her true personality. She is outgoing, funny, talkative, energetic and a little actress. When it is just her and I she is more comfortable. She laughs, tells jokes, shares stories and spends most days and nights singing and dancing non stop. She is a little ray of sunshine.
I even had a friend once walk me through the introduction stages "How are you? What are your weekend plans? Where do you work? Etc. A social butterfly who could walk into a room, leave with talking to every person and knowing everything about them." I just sit in amazement asking myself "How does she do that?"
My goal is to get to know the person and make plans to continue the friendship or conversation. It just never seems to work that way. For example, get me in a room full of people and I shut down. I want to run for the hills and never look back. I go into super high anxiety mode, my hands start to tremble and I am speechless. I am overwhelmed with thoughts of acceptance. I judge myself entirely way too much and it is hurting my self esteem and my social environment.
With Madison, I encouraged her to join dance class to put her in an uncomfortable environment and let her push past the anxiety, stress and fear of not fitting in. I didn't want her feeling socially awkward like I still do.
Overcoming all of this is a challenge and I hope to find the answers soon. I can only imagine that I am not the only person feeling this way?
How do you manage being social? Are you an introvert or extrovert?