Mother or Not, A New Perspective

While browsing through my Twitter feed I stumbled upon this video from Upworthy.

A video documenting how mothers answered the following statement "Describe yourself as a mother" and what their children had to say about them.

While watching this video I quickly became emotional. I am one to dwell on what I am doing wrong. I sit for hours thinking about how I could have reacted differently to a situation, how more patient I need to become and what I could be doing better. This isn't just in the parenting world but life in general.

I started this blog to give myself a chance to express myself, to meet new people and to spend an hour or two a day doing something for myself.

As the blog evolved it became even more apparent that my blog revolves around my daughter, being a mother and what my every day life has become. Not that I was ever trying to escape "real life" but it soon became very clear that as a mother your kids are your life. They shape you, mold you and fulfill your life with so much joy. I've always said you haven't truly lived until you have a child.

Sometimes we spend all of our time trying to become the perfect parent that we miss out on what is really happening. Our kids don't care that the laundry isn't done, or the house isn't clean or that their food came from a box instead of made from scratch. Our little ones only care about a few things: love, patience, time and positivity.

The way we treat our children is how they will treat others We are their main example in life. If we are constantly yelling, screaming, running around like crazy and not making time for others they will pick up on that and most likely end up acting out in the same manner.

No parent is perfect but if we realize that by guiding our children in the right direction and building a loving, positive atmosphere they two will grow into the same mature adult.

I will be the first to admit that I spend most Monday mornings judging myself.  Why Monday? Well, the weekend is the most time I have to spend with her. I ask myself "Did I spend enough quality time with her, did I show her enough love and attention, did she have fun, does she like being at home" and the list goes on and on. By Monday afternoon I am practically running out of work. All I want and need is a hug, a smile and to talk to her about her day.

Her life is my life and if she isn't happy neither am I. It has always felt like our heart and soul are connected together. So while I sit back almost daily and judge myself as a mother, I know deep down that she loves me and that I am doing my best. My best might not match another parents best but we are all human and we run our households differently. At the end of the day, if Madison smiles at me, plants a sloppy wet kiss on my cheek and tells me how much she loves me then I know I must be doing something right.

Am I? Say It Isn't So!

For some reason mothers and daughters like to drive each other crazy.

It's a part of life.

 

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As a daughter you spend your entire time until the age of 18 trying to make sense of your mother's ways.

Why does she say, think or feel that way? Why is she so overprotective, controlling and embarrassing? Sometimes laughing, sometimes crying and sometimes in her own little universe that you feel like you will never get through to her.

Let's face it, you really never understand how your mother felt until you have one of your own.

Like me you will give birth to your child and have that aha moment!

 

 

Nowwww that's why she didn't let me go on that date, spend the night at a friends house or let me wear that revealing outfit.

You too start to pry for information, hug and kiss them in front of their friends and sit and stare at them with the cheesiest of grins.

It's called love my friends. It's like your heart is walking around outside of your body.

Just admit it, you have become your mother. Gasp! I know right! It just couldn't be!

 

 

It's not that you are your mother but a mother.

All mothers are pretty much are grouped into one category.

We share the same love, compassion and happiness when it comes to parenting.

We give 110% each and every day to provide all things for our children.

Showing them how much we care and love them by the activities we participate in. By staying close to them.

We must listen to our children, hear what they are saying, let them talk don't talk for them and build their confidence. We shouldn't judge them. We have to be their guide. Show them how to grow into a responsible and respectful adult.

 

 

It comes at no surprise that we grow up and become exactly like our mother's. We spent 18 years of our life soaking in their mannerisms, phrases and personality. We have all promised ourselves that we would NEVER become like them. How horrible we would say to ourselves.

When you think about it, is it really that bad to become like them?

If we focus on how much time they dedicated to us our opinion changes rather quickly.

 

 

I know almost everyday I repeat something my mother has said to me when I am speaking to Madison. I have covered my mouth and thought to myself "omg I know that didn't just say that." I am sure you have been there right? Blurted something out to your child, student or family member and thought wow I am just like my mom.

 

 

The following phrases are ones I have found to be quite laughable. I say them and then I throw myself back slapping my forehead saying "I did it again."

 

"Don't pick that scab, it will get infected" "Am I talking to a brick wall?" "As long as you live under this roof, you will do as I say" "Do you think I am made of money" "Don't run in the house" "If you don't stop crying I will give you something to cry about" "Don't BUT me, the answer is NO" and the list goes on and on....   You get the drift. The ever so famous mom phrases. If your mom has said it you have or will repeat the same things. You will cringe and then slowly but surely you will begin to realize that the tough love you received, it was for all of the right reasons. We will then begin to realize why our mother's protected us so much, hovered and didn't want to see us leave the home each day.  

  May is the month for moms and I believe that Mother's Day shouldn't be the only day to show gratitude and appreciation for her. Like my mother, they hold a special place in our hearts. We often shed tears (good ones) over all of the wonderful times we have had. We start to realize that while we are getting old they too are getting old as well. Instead of shrinking in horror every time my tone and phrases match my mother's, I will smile instead because if I grow into half the woman and mother she is it will be an honor.  

  Hug your mom, kiss her, let her know how much she is appreciated because if you are parent, guardian or in a kids life and they did that for you it would be one of the greatest days of your life. Never take each other for granted, you never know when that might be the last moment you spend with them.  

  Love and never stop loving.  

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**In loving memory of the victims of the Oklahoma tornado**