Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Sleeping Beautyyyyyy

So I decided as a little surprise for Madison starting school I would get her a new pet.
We have been down the road of dogs and that didn't work out. We were always gone, Madison was just born and we weren't able to give our dogs the love and attention they deserved.
We cannot have cats because we would all be walking around sneezing and having allergy attacks.
Birds, exotic animals and things of that nature just doesn't fit our household.
So what better pet than a fish?
I took Madison on a little drive...of course with a four year old the whole time you are hearing "Mom, are we there yet? Where are we going? What are we doing? Mom, why aren't you answering me?"
So we pulled up to the front doors and Madison said "are we taking home a pet?!?!?
I said "Wellllll what would you do if we were?" She started jumping up and down, clapping her hands and screaming. The look and her actions were priceless.
So as any other mother with a photography addiction would do I began taking pictures of the entire process. 
Let the fun begin!! Everyone meet SLEEPING BEAUTY :)
What was your first pet?
Did you surprise your child or someone on their first day of school?

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Little Fish In The Sea

As a person you never feel real, raw and deep emotion until you have a child.
The phrase "Having a child, is like letting your heart walk outside of your body" is absolutely spot on.

You think you might love your boyfriend, spouse, partner, family or pet but until you hold your child, your flesh and blood in your arms you haven't felt true love.
As I was growing up I always said I would never have children, they were too much work and too whiny.
Until one day I had a change of heart and that's all I could think about. I wanted a baby. A girl to be exact. I had never even looked at boy names. I just knew if I had one it would be a girl. Someone to share the same bond my mother and I had. A friend, a daughter and someone to love me as much as I loved them. And then Madison was born.

April 30, 2009 I held her in my arms and felt an abundance of joy.
She was and is my world. I would take a bullet for her. I will try until my dying day to make her life the best it can be.

Today marks the first day that I feel her growing up in the blink of an eye. Yesterday she ended her time with her daycare provider and is now moving onto preschool.

A tiny little girl in a big world. I think I'm more scared than she is. I've cried myself to sleep for the last week and as I write this my laptop is blanketed with tears.
4 years I ago I sat smiling at this precious and tiny bundle of love and here I begin today knowing that my little ladybug will be off learning new things, dealing with new challenges and making new friends.

I am so proud of the little girl she has become. As bittersweet as all of this has become I can't help but feel the roller coaster of emotion that today sparks inside of me.
I will sit at my cubicle for eight hours in a daze. Worrying if she is doing ok, is she eating right, is she getting along with the other kids and will she miss me as much as I miss her?

I am grateful in the aspect that she is super excited to leave the house and that she has been counting the days down until school began. She is courageous, strong and intelligent. I see a bright future ahead and I am ever ever so thankful to have her in my life.

As a parent all I ever hope and dream for is for her to smile, be happy and live life to the fullest.
I hope this chapter marks another great experience for her.
It's all a teaching lesson, I just wish my little heart could handle it. My eyes are swollen and my knees are weak. I wish I was as strong as she is.

I'll take her little hand, walk her into school, squeeze her tight, plant a kiss on her forehead and pray hard that everything goes well. Not just for today but every other day from here on out.

Monday, July 29, 2013

When One Door Closes, Another Opens

Today marks the end to an incredible journey.
Starting tomorrow Madison will begin the first day of preschool which means today is her last day at daycare.

When we met Mrs. Cortney our search for a daycare provider ended. We just knew she was the one and knew Madison would love her.
Interviewing with other women and not feeling that connection became very discouraging so as soon as we began talking with Cortney our whole world changed for the better.

As a first time mother I wanted more than anything to be able to stay at home with Madison each and every day and not have to worry about a stranger taking care of her.
What if she choked? What if she fell and got hurt? What if she needed me?
Several mornings I left her standing at the front door screaming for me, waving and jumping up and down with sadness as I drove off to work.
I myself, left her with the same sad and emptiness in my heart wishing that I could change things.

Until we met Cortney my mother had watched Madison every day and well when you are trying to replace the care a grandmother gives, it seems impossible.
The care was definitely taken over in the same efforts and standards that we had expected.

Mrs. Cortney from day one has been nicknamed Mary Poppins. She truly embraced the role and has kept us smiling ever since.
With her daily worksheets showing what Madison had eaten, played with and her restroom visits it felt like we were there in a way. It kept our minds at ease and my upset stomach at rest.

Cortney has truly been a blessing to our family. Her patience, love and support is truly remarkable.
She has taught Madison the fundamentals it takes to go into preschool and we are quite certain Madison will be at the top of her class.
The routine and balance that she has received for the past two years while under the care of Cortney shows. Her tableside manners and her ability to read and write has grown so much. Her social skills have grown and her personality has evolved so much.

We wouldn't be where we are without the love and support of my mother and Cortney. The two women besides myself that have impacted Madison is astonishing. Cortney has chosen to become a full time teacher and I know without a doubt she will be the worlds best teacher. We wish her the best of luck and hope that like Madison, each student experiences what a wonderful person she is.

As anxious and scared as I am to send Madison off to school tomorrow I am in high hopes that like the transition we encountered two years ago with the daycare change that she will do great. I can't wait to attend field trips, award ceremonies and see my little ladybug grow into a remarkable young lady.
I still remember the day she stood in the living room, packed her backpack and asked me if she was going to school that day. I didn't realize that it would happen in the blink of an eye that she would attend student orientation, visit her classroom and really be going to go school tomorrow. I'll be dropping her off with a smile on my face but my heart will be crying inside. My little girl isn't so little anymore.

When One Door Closes, Another Opens......

Friday, July 26, 2013


This may be the only Friday in a long time that I have not wanted to see come.

It is just one day closer to my little ladybug starting preschool.

I had looked at the school calendar and thought she was starting August 12th but come to find out at parent orientation last night that she starts Tuesday!



At least before I had the time off for vacation and planned on weeping for the rest of the day with a bottle of wine by my side but now I actually have to go to work after this tragic event happens! Blah.

Okay MAYBE I am overreacting but when it's your one and only child and they are growing like a weed all you can do is cry like a little baby.
Trust me it's called love.
So I've been trying to keep myself busy and not panic like a crazy person.

I guess I can high five myself for making it this far and not losing my sanity.

Here are my top high fives for the week!

1. I have been spoiled this week! With what you might ask? Time with my sister! I am on cloud nine that we are spending time together and doing fun things! We went and picked up her wedding band and then hit Cheeseburger In Paradise for dinner. Lady of The Sea is my fave drink! Yummo!
2. I guess no news is good news for now. I made it through my OB apt without being fully soaked in tears. Now I am waiting the two weeks for the test results.
3. Yummo! Madison wanted sugar snap peas and without realizing she wanted the cold ones in the salad aisle to dip in ranch, I bought the frozen bag ones that you heat up. They were a little plain so I buttered them up and covered them in bacon bits. Madison ate her entire plate, now that's a win!
4. After dinner, my sister, Madison and I all came back to the house to talk and hang out. What a great night!
5. Madison as you know starts school on Tuesday, as depressed as I am the school is awesome, her teacher seems nice and energetic and the program should teach her a lot. I look forward to seeing her succeed!!
What's got you excited on this Friday?
I would love to hear from you!
Happy Friday!!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

At A Loss For Words: Brain Dump

My brain is fried and I have been losing hours and hours of sleep in the past month. I have even resorted to sleeping on the couch for no movement of the other side of the bed, no snoring, no breathing, no sound. I am the lightest sleeper and for some reason these past few months have been the worst.
So when all else fails and you have much of nothing to share you brain dump, right?

1. My grandfather had surgery this morning, finding out he had a bleeding ulcer which caused an enormous amount of blood loss and physical strength. We are in high hopes that this slow recovery will bring him back to normal and he can go back home.

2. In over a year I finally got to spend time with my sister! We picked up her wedding band, ate dinner and shared a lot of good conversation. It looks like we will be spending the next two days together as well. I couldn't be happier!

3. Madison's parent orientation for pre-school is tonight so the hubs and I are attending that fiesta. Man do I feel old, depressed and pretty much am wigging out at the moment.

4. My medical bills from my surgery are slowly being paid off so that weight is finally starting to lift off of my shoulders.

5. I will be panicking up until the moment I find out if this cancer scare is gone or not.

6. I got a text from the bestie letting me know she bought me some perfume she had that I sampled. I am one lucky girl to have a bestie like her!

7. Work has been busier than normal which has allowed me to not focus on all of the negative that has been happening to all of us lately.

8. I love each and every one of you who read my blog daily and comment and show your love and support for me and my family, it truly means the world guys!

9. I am going to start looking into taking more vitamins and get my skin, hair and nails in a healthy state. Over the last few months I have lost half my hair, my nails are as thin as paper and my skin is drier than the Sahara desert! The hair thing scares me the most, how does half of your hair just up and vanish?

10. I am still wondering why I can't find just as good of apps on my android as on an iPhone?!?! I mean hello us droid users would love to have a beautiful mess app too!!

And that concludes my brain dump for the day!
I do really feel better after I do this, it clears my mind and de-stresses me for a little bit.

Have you brain dumped lately??